After a recent sermon on Proverbs 31:30, many guys have asked me, “Do you think beauty isn’t important?” I believe, as the Bible says, that beauty is fleeting. That is a simple, factual truth that we have a really hard time accepting. Is it important? It is important that you can cherish your wife, that you can look at her and see her as an incredible gift. It is important that you can love her sacrificially (Ephesians 5:25), and treat her with respect (1 Peter 3:7).
Monica is the standard of beauty to me. She has become even more beautiful than when I first met her. However, when we’re staying up all night with sick kids, getting thrown up on, and being on mission in an increasingly hostile world, her “good looks” are her least important qualities. As I mentioned last Tuesday, I don’t need a “trophy wife”; I need someone to go to war with me.
I was referring to the “trophy wife” as our modern culture defines it. However, you do want to look for a wife who is “priceless,” and who is the prize the Scripture defines.
10 Things a Man Should Look For (And a Woman Should Be)
In no particular order. Marry a girl who is:
- Trustworthy. Is she dependable? Can you be confident she is going to do what she commits to do? (1 Timothy 3:11)
- Modest. Fearing God means you are more concerned about what He thinks and says than what people think or say. A woman who fears God would dress modestly rather than show extra skin to get attention from (the wrong kind of) men. (1 Peter 3:3)
- Peaceful. A peaceful woman is not about drama, or picking fights, but about pursuing and preserving unity. (1 Peter 3:4)
- Diligent. That is actually what much of Proverbs 31 is about: being a hard worker and taking care of what needs to be done, when it needs to be done. (Proverbs 31:13-18)
- Compassionate. Does she care for those in need? (Proverbs 31:20)
- Respectful. It has been said that whereas women need love, men need respect. This is displayed in the way she talks to and about others. (Ephesians 5:33)
- Submissive to authority. Ah, the “S” word. Women, before you get upset and start talking about equal partnerships, go back and look at #1 on the list of things to look for in a man. (1 Peter 3:1)
- Responsible. Does she plan ahead? Does she handle resources wisely? This idea is all throughout Scripture referring to a wife from The Lord. (Proverbs 31:21)
- Wise. A wise person makes good decisions and gives good instruction. (Proverbs 31:26)
- Committed to Christ. Christ should be the focus of her life. This looks like yielding to His word, being prayerful, living in community, and being committed to a body of believers. If this is there, #1-9 will be there, too. (Galatians 5:22-25)
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10) That’s a trophy wife. That’s the true prize. “Give her the reward she has earned.” (Proverbs 31:31a)
Single men, if you are pursuing God yourself and are ready for marriage, find the most godly woman you know and ask her out. Single girls, if a godly man asks you out and you are open to dating, say yes. If you say no, be honest as to why. Men, be intentional; women, be honest. If you are walking closely with Jesus and dating a girl you can cherish who exemplifies the above, “put a ring on it.”
Guys, anything you would add to this list? Post in the comments below.